Thursday, April 5, 2012

800 Pound Gorillas

I better understand my anxiety about starting treatment again; it isn't the treatment itself, or the side-effects, rather, it makes this (the relapse) real.

That leads to the 800 pound gorilla.

This isn’t blood work or a biopsy, it's a treatment and it may not be successful.

Then we start again, with the ever present 800 lb. gorilla in the room. What if none of the treatments work? What if I don't go into remission again? What if death is “the next thing”?

I'm not being negative; in fact, I've probably been too cavalier about this relapse and the prognosis for achieving a second remission. But there are no guarantees, and that's true for all of us, today, tomorrow and every day.

So I've been anxious over the last week, but the day has arrived, I will storm the gates and take my medicine (literally & figuratively) and deal with the "next thing" when I arrive at that intersection.

5 comments:

  1. My wish and my prayer for you is a long long remission.....Jill

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  2. Dan, your journey is far from over. You are just beginning the next leg of your journey - and this leg will be just as purposeful. Not only will this serve you, you are also using it to serve others. That is the gift of you Dan. While you speak of God's grace, the truth is, it's your grace that is shining.

    I know this is difficult, and scary (beyond measure). Having been there myself, there are fewer things more terrifying. The outcome is unknown. I also know, that of anyone, you have the resolve and the drive to fight this battle - because YOU Dan Rosenberger are TEEMING with life! You are also surrounded by LOVE.

    No one fights alone. <3 xo Deb and John

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  3. Couldn't have said it better Deb. Dan, we're with you all the way with prayers and support.

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  4. A really great guy and friend shared this with me today Dan..

    I think it belongs right here on your post :)

    "Men of Gondor and Rohan, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of Men fails... when we forsake our friends, and break all bonds of fellowship... but it is not this day.

    An hour of wolves and shattered shields when all hope comes crashing down, but it is NOT this day! This day, we fight! For all that you hold dear, stand, Men of the West! "; - Aragorn, at the Black Gate, The Return of the King

    Today is NOT the day Dan!! Today you fight!!

    And do this comforted in the knowing that there are many of us that are proudly standing with you, shoulder to shoulder, in spirit as you battle on.

    God Bless my friend, stay strong, you can do this!!

    Ride hard, don't look back ~ Aragorn

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  5. Just know Dan, we all care about you and are praying for you. This 800 # gorilla.. will get smaller... keep your spirits and attitude up.. and know you are cared for.

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